To Listen or Not . . .

I have heard it all . . .

From the beginning of my quest for better health through present day, I have heard many positive things regarding my weight loss . . . and many negative things as well. I recall people saying "you don't look like you need to lose much weight" and a doctor telling me I was "obese" if you believe in the BMI charts (Body Mass Index) in the same week.

I remember a distinct conversation where an individual told me that I was "really over doing it" and then telling me what low-carb strategy would be better for me.

If you are trying to make a change, first and foremost, listen to yourself. If I had listened to all of the people who gave me their "advice", I would either have given up long ago, or I would have been bouncing around from program to program. Please don't misunderstand and think that I am telling you to dismiss everything you hear either. Much of my success can be directly attributed to experts (such as what I learned years ago from the Body For Life Book) as well as the positive encouragement I received from family, friends and colleagues.

A couple of months ago, I returned to my primary care physician for a check up. Although he was very impressed with my "change", he looked at me ( I swear this is true), and told me he wanted me to gain 10-12 pounds! I stood up from the lovely tissue covered exam table, walked over to the BMI chart and pointed at my previous classification. I said "doc, I was over here, you told me to get over here (now pointing at the pretty orange colored section I fell into) . . . I am now over here and you want me to gain weight". He said, "yes". Walking out of the office, I thought to myself, I did what he told me to do, did I do it in excess? Although, he is the best physician I have ever had, and I do trust him very much, I figured that he must have thought I couldn't or wouldn't do it. (Doc-since I know you will be reading this at some point, I really do trust and value your opinion-you're great:)

Yesterday, I returned to see him, but this time not for a typical appointment. There is a local paper that is writing a story about my transformation and wanted to speak to my doc, so I had to sign papers allowing him to speak about me (HIPPA laws). I am now another 10-12 pounds lighter from the visit I just described (and yes, he still wants me to gain a few pounds), but yesterday our conversation was much more about my training and need for specific types of nutrition.

While telling him the story of my Blog, as well as my new "quest in planning", I elaborated on all of the people and products which I believe have helped me achieve success . . . His comment "Josh, don't kid yourself, you did this all on your own".

Ahhh, now that I'll listen to.

Seriously, driving back home, I thought that through. First, I feel there is a big difference in "listening" and "hearing", pick your flavor. But, regardless of what others tell you, you are going to be telling yourself a lot more and at greater frequency . . . I'll give you some examples:

When I now see people I haven't seen in some time, I get comments like, "Wow, you look amazing", "You are anorexic", "You have to tell me how you did it", "You can't be eating properly", "Your tiny" (that one isn't so flattering), "You need to take a break", "You should be training other people", and on and on.

You see, still positive, and negative.

Now, let me give you some examples of things I hear myself telling saying:

I walked into my bank and the teller notices I am far more fit, at the gym I notice some people "checking" me out (which I'm not sure has ever happened before), I bought size 30 pants, I wake up and can walk to the bathroom without hearing my ankles and knees popping, I can carry my son on my shoulders for long periods of time, I can cycle without terrible effort for 20 plus miles and be contemplative at the same time, I don't get out of breath walking up two flights of stairs, I drive by fast food chains and have no interest whatsoever in stopping by . . . get the picture?

Those examples cannot be matched by anything anyone else could tell me.

Whatever you "hear" . . . positive, negative, indifferent . . . make sure you are listening to yourself. Accept the positive, dismiss the negative and listen to your own voice if you want to hear from an "insider". . .

On a side note: Special thanks to a fellow blogger (Isadora who operates a blog highlighting encouraging success stories) who posted about my accomplishments:

(http://weight-loss-story.blogspot.com/)

Josh - Agent of Change

Where Do You Start?

Today a post about where to begin . . .

So many of the responses I have received in the past few weeks are requesting the "details" of my self-transformation. Although I have made posts specific to nutrition and exercise, many inquiries want to know where to begin? So, let's start there and we will build upon it.

First - Make a decision.

As I have written before, it is human nature to have what you want through justification. Whether that is the justification for the super sized meal at the drive up window, the extra slice of cake at the dinner party or refilling the popcorn bucket at the theatre. You must decide that you want to begin on the path to a healthier lifestyle and then self-justify it. It is far from easy, but WILL get easier each time you do it. Just like a recovering addict, that first lapse is difficult, but once they have done it, the next and next and next get easier. From here on out, no more lapses backwards, but leaps forward.

Second - What are you going after?

You've made the choice, now let's go after the prize. Define it, write it down, recite it each morning . . . whatever works for you. Perhaps it is specific to weight, maybe it's becoming leaner and more defined, in my case it was the desire to become healthy instead of treading quickly towards deaths doorstep. However, transformation is not simply about hitting the "goal". That is part of it, but on the way, you should find yourself setting new and more challenging obstacles for yourself. I never intended to be writing a blog for instance. I intended to prove the doctors wrong and change my health through logic and desire. But . . . then I did get healthy, I did lose weight and I did "transform". Now, I don't want to stop. Today, writing this blog has been added to my list. I can recall when I stepped it up a notch from riding my bike 15-minutes a day to 30, then 40, then an hour.

Third - Be reasonable.

Forget the infomercial promising dramatic results in 6-weeks. Even when people see those results, assume they are on the "extreme" end of the possibility spectrum. Be reasonable in a way that will allow you to continue to build upon it. For example, if you would like to lose 100 pounds, probably not the best idea to roll out a 4-month plan to do that. If your goals are of that magnitude, perhaps set "mini" goals or checkpoints as part of a larger plan. My first few months on my "self-prescribed" plan, I tried diligently to do cardio (cycling) 3-days a week and weight/resistance training (Bowflex at that time) 2-days a week. I did not begin with the goal of losing 80-pounds, but with the goal of eating healthier and exercising to try and heal myself. Now . . . today, I guess I am far more extreme in the eyes of the average person, but what I do now, has been based upon continually upping the ante for myself.

Fourth - Sticktoitiveness!

Stick with the plan. If you stray, don't stray far, and then back to business. Let's talk about nutrition for a moment. Don't be extreme, be balanced. Choose your nutrition wisely. I was consuming far too many calories, so I began with a healthful/nutritious balance, while figuring out how to actually eat lots while maintaining the calorie intake I was shooting for. Although I was shooting for the 2,000 calorie mark daily, you should go online (there are a host of great calculators on-line to determine this), or you certainly may want to check with your physician (probably the best idea). Cheating, do it if you have to, but then behave yourself. If you have that unreal craving for a chocolate bar, just try one square instead of the whole thing. amazingly, since I have become healthier, my cravings have followed suit . . . I now find myself wanting a bowl of fresh fruit instead; well, most times. Nobody's perfect.

I will continue to provide more details in upcoming posts, but to recap. Let's make a decision to change, set a goal (or multiple goals), justify it to yourself, be reasonable and stick to the plan.

So, where am I with my goals?

I know I keep eluding to some big plan I am developing as well as that it will include a lot of cycling. Well, here are more details . . .

I feel great! Through the process of becoming physically healthier, I have become mentally healthier. I have started to use the term "Agent of Change" (someone who intentionally or un-intentionally causes behavioral, social or cultural change). I have done that for myself on a physical level, now I am going to try to that on a cultural and social level. Why? Because, I can see much more clearly. When I was "tangled" in my own web of bad health and bad behavior, I rarely, if ever was able to see that I as an individual was part of the "whole". I have written about educating my young son about the whole, and the importance of being connected to it. I'm healthier and thinner, great. What good is being healthy, if the world around you continues to become a less healthy place?

More soon . . .

Josh Neimark- Agent of Change

All tangled up, and I can see clearly

This past Thursday afternoon (sometime around 4PM) . . .

I lay in the woods, legs tangled around my bike, I felt some stinging, some throbbing, but nothing too awful. I wiped the pouring sweat from my eyes. With clearer vision, I looked up at the trees and sky. Then I looked down at my situation. On my chest crawled a fairly large spider. The Josh of the past would have smashed the arachnid. However, today I thought, man this little guy must be wondering what just fell into his world. I gently brushed myself off, moved the spider onto a leaf, and un-clipped my feet from my pedals. Standing now, I looked around. Even in the 93 degree heat, just a mile off a highway, I was surrounded by natural beauty.

Saturday - 6:15 AM - I have the television on in the background, as I sit here checking email and sipping coffee . . . there is an infomercial for a new abdominal workout, promising you can still eat your favorite fast foods and lose inches off your waist! Sign me up - yeah right. Apparently changing your body doesn't have to correlate with your behavior?

In my self-transformation process, the changes in my own behavior have allowed me to see things much differently. For example, when I now "look around", I see more. In the past, if I had been in a situation similar to the one described above . . . I would have been immediately looking at my bike-hoping it wasn't damaged, been checking my wounds and likely using some foul language in the process. But not on Thursday.

One of the things I like most about cycling is the time I have to reflect. When I get going on the road, I get into a rhythm and I think. However, riding off road, like this past Thursday, the only time I had to think was spent on what's next after this hill, don't wipe out on this turn, I really hope I am nearing the end of the trail . . .

When I was finally off the bike, I could see and think about more than the next 100 yards in front of me. I felt exhilarated as I looked around. My adrenaline was pumping. I knew that what I was planning to do was right. This thing I have mentioned, this initiative I elude to, the plan I have yet to share . . . it will involve making the world a better place. It will involve helping others. And, it will take the collective effort of many looking at the "whole" I spoke about it my previous post.

As far as my new quest in concerned, I have begun planning. In the past 2 weeks, I have sold my Bowflex and joined the new Gold's Gym in my area (by the way, I used craigslist.com , sold it in one day), I am increasing my focus on training and nutrition, and starting to involve some partners I will need to do it all.

The increased focus on my training is forcing me to re-evaluate what I am fueling my body with. To date, my eating has been based on balanced nutrition, calories and taste. I am beginning to see that I need to start focusing more specifically on fueling myself to effectively maximize my training. Who would have ever thought those words would come out of my mouth!

Next step, I need to get a road bike. For that, I will return to my trusted shop, Nebo Ridge , which is where I purchased my Cannondale Rush (mountain bike). Although, I do ride my Rush on the road a whole lot, if I am going to start adding on the miles, I need a bike made just for the road.

By the way, thanks to my friend Brad who came to my rescue on the trail and helped me with a flat Thursday.

I am an Agent of Change . . .

Although there are a handful of “official” definitions for “Agent of Change”, the one I find most applicable to myself is as follows: “An Agent of Change is someone who intentionally or indirectly causes or accelerates social, cultural or behavioral change”.

I have intentionally changed my own behavior. Now I strive to intentionally work on the cultural and social aspects . . . who knows, perhaps intentionally causing or accelerating these “changes” creates an indirect or viral change in others . . . seems logical.

Focusing on health is a healthy focus.

In the course of my behavioral change, I focused on becoming a healthier individual, and in turn what I focused on became healthier. In fact, I have never felt “clearer”. I strive to be a good husband, father and human being. My social consciousness has evolved and grown.

Each night when I put my 4 ½ year-old son to bed, we do the usual book reading, teeth brushing, talking about his day at school, then I always ask him the following question: “what did you do today to make the world a better place”. His responses vary, but often include items like, “I picked up garbage on the ground, helped Mommy, was nice to a new child in my class or let one of my bugs go back to his family (he is a little entomologist in training) in nature.” The point of this daily exercise is to teach him that he is part of the whole, that everything we do impacts something else. For him, even at a “micro” level, he understands that his pet grasshopper needs to be in the wild, that perhaps he made that new little girl in his class have an easier first day or that that he helped make some parking lot a little cleaner.

However, as I reflect on my own day, I often struggle to find answers to how I myself helped to make the world a better place. I have accomplished a great deal. I have rid myself of some bizarre medical condition, lost weight, become healthier (both physically and mentally), but what am I doing about the “whole”? Until now, my primary focus has been on myself. It’s time to change that . . .

As agreed, I will continue to share the story and specifics of my success; at the same time I am going to start some far more serious training – which I will document in this Blog. Why am I training? I am not quite ready to share all of those details. What I will share at this point, is that I am going to work on intentionally causing social, cultural and behavioral change as mentioned in the definition above. I am going to physically challenge myself in a way I have never done before. I am going to be cycling a whole lot. And, it is going to be for reasons other than myself now. I plan to leverage my success, new found clarity and desire to be able to answer the same question I ask my son each night, “How did you make the world a better place today”. I will soon have those answers . . .

Josh Neimark – Agent of Change

Pain & Suffering . . . Bring It On

In my last post, I wrote about the importance of "listening". . . to yourself as opposed to others.

In addition to listening, you must learn how to "feel". Whoa Josh, are you going all sappy on us? Seriously, I am speaking about the physical implications of transforming yourself. There will be pain, there may be injury (hopefully limited to small muscle pulls) and there will be suffering. I can remember that every time I began a new "weight-loss/workout program" over the years, how I entered it dreading the first couple of weeks. I would be sore, I would be tired, and usually . . . I would give up.

After I had been cycling a few months, fall weather was rolling in quickly. It wasn't long before the morning temperatures were in the 30's, then 20's, then so cold the digits didn't even matter. Day after day, I continued to drag myself out of bed around 5AM, spend 15-minutes layering up (I can't even begin to describe how many clothes I put on prior to riding) and out into to cold darkness I rolled. Many mornings, it was so cold, that my iPod would stop working within 5-minutes.

Even with multiple layers, including two pairs of gloves, I was no match for the negative windchill . . . Following a ride, I can very distinctly recall the feeling of luke warm water stinging my body in the shower, cringing every time I closed my hands as the wounds on my knuckles (already spilt and bleeding) would open up and seep, and the constant taste of blood on my tongue from the splits in my lips. I didn't look like a cyclist, I looked like a heavyweight in training for an upcoming bout. Co-workers thought I had joined a fight club.

Instead of letting the discomfort discourage me . . . I made a conscious decision that it would drive me. The pain would be a reminder of my ultimate mission. Now, don't get me wrong, I am far from a masochist, I do not enjoy pain. But, I focused on the goal at hand and the results I was beginning to see. In a few short months, I had gone from barely having the endurance to ride for 15-minutes, to daily rides in sub-zero windchill for an hour. I was making progress, if a pain and discomfort came with it, so be it.

Today those discomforts are long gone and the wounds have healed. As I progress towards new goals, I remind myself of the pain I felt, the discomfort, and how I allowed it to fuel me. Certainly, I could have given in like many times before, but I decided to use that energy, that "feeling" in a positive way, one with purpose, one that pushed me to continue.

Am I getting sappy on you again, no . . . well maybe a little.