And here is 003 - Erin Epstein

My dad once told me that sometimes the right thing to do is sometimes the hardest thing. These words are easy to write because I know them well and they have guided me through many hard times, including a divorce. However, when it comes to making a change regarding my body, I have struggled.

The phrase, "back in high school" has become cliche, but like so many others, those were my glory days for my body. I was a runner and could eat whatever I wanted without gaining a pound. My record was five bean burritos from Taco Bell in one meal. See! I am competitive even when I eat! The fact is, I went to college and beer drinking replaced running, and I have never gotten back to where I wanted to be since. I have worked with personal trainers before, but the difference with Josh is the accountability. I will never forget seeing him working out at the gym and thinking, "wow, I wish I could be that strong" and I wondered if it was something I would ever be able to achieve. At the time I thought it was impossible. That's what's different about Josh.
Josh makes you feel like everything is possible.

The hardest thing is usually the right thing. This really applies to so many aspects of my life right now. Eating properly is not easy for me, but it's the right thing for my health. Getting up at 4:45am every morning isn't easy, but it's the right thing for my weight training to improve my body. Leaving work Mondays a little bit early so I can catch my favorite spin class isn't easy, but it's the right thing to keep me excited about cardio.

Josh has also motivated me in another way that I'd like to share.
For many years, there was a man in Chicago who would work for other people on Christmas so that they could be with their families. He did all sorts of odd jobs from working at a gas station, to covering for someone at a movie theater. I only heard about this man's community service after his passing and for the past few years since, I have wanted to start something similar in Indianapolis. Raised as a Jew, Christmas has always just been "any other day" for me. Now I am believer in different types of faith, like faith in the human spirit. Meeting Josh has confirmed this faith in goodness. I hope to start this group who helps others on Christmas be with their families when they would ordinarily be at work. I could do this alone, or maybe I can provoke change in enough people who feel the same way about helping others. This will not be an easy task, but sometimes the right thing to do is the hardest.

Thanks for reading,
003

Failure . . . My New Mantra

Could that be right?

With regards to my new training regimen it is. It was a comment from Mark (my trainer). Actually, his exact words were as follows as he described my new weight training routine:

"With good form and control your goal is to fail with every set, with one exception the first set-make sure you are warmed up.You mantra - FAILURE IS KING!!!!"

Today I "failed". Although conceptually, I did know what that meant, I had never truly experienced it, I don't think. That changed this morning, no question about it. While in my routine, being sure to follow my instructions (number of reps, increases in weight and so on), I hit a wall. It's quite a feeling. One minute you are going along just fine, or at least making it through your reps with decent form, then BOOM . . . can't move that bar even another half of a rep. . .

As I have mentioned, Mark will become a contributor to the Agent of Change Blog. He and I will be discussing "training/nutrition" topics to address from his professional perspective, as well as answer my own questions/concerns publicly as I progress with my training. As mentioned, he has "shook" up my routine quite a bit. But, I am listening carefully and learning a lot.

So, here are 3 questions which I will provide my perspective on, and Mark can respond from his professional point of view.

1. Mark has me drinking at least a gallon of water each day (he calls this properly hydrating). I do know that there are many great benefits including how it relates to metabolism, muscle, etc. There is the obvious downside . . . every time you have to "go", it's an emergency! I can accomplish the gallon daily, usually even another 32-oz, but here is my question . . .

Now that I am drinking so much more water, how can I be thirsty all of the time? Perhaps it is because I have gotten used to drinking this much water?

2. Mark has taken my daily calorie intake up about 1,000 calories and my daily protein intake up about 100-120 grams. I understand that with my new goals and training routine, the goal is to build more muscle. I also understand the importance of muscle development and the role protein plays in that process. I also am eating 5-7 balanced meals a day, as opposed to 3 as I did previously. The question . . .

Mark, how did you determine the appropriate caloric/protein goals for my new program? And, how will we determine if that amount is working well (i.e. gaining muscle weight).

Note: Mark and I did many measurements, photographs, Heart Rate calculations, etc prior to beginning this program.

3. We are working on increasing my aerobic base so I can accomplish more "endurance" or long distance cycling. Because of this, Mark has me doing interval training 4-days a week for 10-minutes. The goal, get into specific heart rate ranges (going back and forth between a low and high point). I am able to get my heart rate higher much more quickly on a treadmill while running than on a stationary bike. The question . . .

Although running and cycling are clearly different exercises, why does it seem much harder to get my heart rate in the "high" range on the bike as opposed to the treadmill, even with increased resistance?

We should have Mark's responses posted in the next few days.

Enjoy the weekend.

Josh - Agent of Change

All tangled up, and I can see clearly

This past Thursday afternoon (sometime around 4PM) . . .

I lay in the woods, legs tangled around my bike, I felt some stinging, some throbbing, but nothing too awful. I wiped the pouring sweat from my eyes. With clearer vision, I looked up at the trees and sky. Then I looked down at my situation. On my chest crawled a fairly large spider. The Josh of the past would have smashed the arachnid. However, today I thought, man this little guy must be wondering what just fell into his world. I gently brushed myself off, moved the spider onto a leaf, and un-clipped my feet from my pedals. Standing now, I looked around. Even in the 93 degree heat, just a mile off a highway, I was surrounded by natural beauty.

Saturday - 6:15 AM - I have the television on in the background, as I sit here checking email and sipping coffee . . . there is an infomercial for a new abdominal workout, promising you can still eat your favorite fast foods and lose inches off your waist! Sign me up - yeah right. Apparently changing your body doesn't have to correlate with your behavior?

In my self-transformation process, the changes in my own behavior have allowed me to see things much differently. For example, when I now "look around", I see more. In the past, if I had been in a situation similar to the one described above . . . I would have been immediately looking at my bike-hoping it wasn't damaged, been checking my wounds and likely using some foul language in the process. But not on Thursday.

One of the things I like most about cycling is the time I have to reflect. When I get going on the road, I get into a rhythm and I think. However, riding off road, like this past Thursday, the only time I had to think was spent on what's next after this hill, don't wipe out on this turn, I really hope I am nearing the end of the trail . . .

When I was finally off the bike, I could see and think about more than the next 100 yards in front of me. I felt exhilarated as I looked around. My adrenaline was pumping. I knew that what I was planning to do was right. This thing I have mentioned, this initiative I elude to, the plan I have yet to share . . . it will involve making the world a better place. It will involve helping others. And, it will take the collective effort of many looking at the "whole" I spoke about it my previous post.

As far as my new quest in concerned, I have begun planning. In the past 2 weeks, I have sold my Bowflex and joined the new Gold's Gym in my area (by the way, I used craigslist.com , sold it in one day), I am increasing my focus on training and nutrition, and starting to involve some partners I will need to do it all.

The increased focus on my training is forcing me to re-evaluate what I am fueling my body with. To date, my eating has been based on balanced nutrition, calories and taste. I am beginning to see that I need to start focusing more specifically on fueling myself to effectively maximize my training. Who would have ever thought those words would come out of my mouth!

Next step, I need to get a road bike. For that, I will return to my trusted shop, Nebo Ridge , which is where I purchased my Cannondale Rush (mountain bike). Although, I do ride my Rush on the road a whole lot, if I am going to start adding on the miles, I need a bike made just for the road.

By the way, thanks to my friend Brad who came to my rescue on the trail and helped me with a flat Thursday.

Pain & Suffering . . . Bring It On

In my last post, I wrote about the importance of "listening". . . to yourself as opposed to others.

In addition to listening, you must learn how to "feel". Whoa Josh, are you going all sappy on us? Seriously, I am speaking about the physical implications of transforming yourself. There will be pain, there may be injury (hopefully limited to small muscle pulls) and there will be suffering. I can remember that every time I began a new "weight-loss/workout program" over the years, how I entered it dreading the first couple of weeks. I would be sore, I would be tired, and usually . . . I would give up.

After I had been cycling a few months, fall weather was rolling in quickly. It wasn't long before the morning temperatures were in the 30's, then 20's, then so cold the digits didn't even matter. Day after day, I continued to drag myself out of bed around 5AM, spend 15-minutes layering up (I can't even begin to describe how many clothes I put on prior to riding) and out into to cold darkness I rolled. Many mornings, it was so cold, that my iPod would stop working within 5-minutes.

Even with multiple layers, including two pairs of gloves, I was no match for the negative windchill . . . Following a ride, I can very distinctly recall the feeling of luke warm water stinging my body in the shower, cringing every time I closed my hands as the wounds on my knuckles (already spilt and bleeding) would open up and seep, and the constant taste of blood on my tongue from the splits in my lips. I didn't look like a cyclist, I looked like a heavyweight in training for an upcoming bout. Co-workers thought I had joined a fight club.

Instead of letting the discomfort discourage me . . . I made a conscious decision that it would drive me. The pain would be a reminder of my ultimate mission. Now, don't get me wrong, I am far from a masochist, I do not enjoy pain. But, I focused on the goal at hand and the results I was beginning to see. In a few short months, I had gone from barely having the endurance to ride for 15-minutes, to daily rides in sub-zero windchill for an hour. I was making progress, if a pain and discomfort came with it, so be it.

Today those discomforts are long gone and the wounds have healed. As I progress towards new goals, I remind myself of the pain I felt, the discomfort, and how I allowed it to fuel me. Certainly, I could have given in like many times before, but I decided to use that energy, that "feeling" in a positive way, one with purpose, one that pushed me to continue.

Am I getting sappy on you again, no . . . well maybe a little.

Burn more calories . . . The program begins to take shape

Yesterday evening, I was having a conversation with my 4 year old son. We were working on repairing a broken toy, when I said "maybe we should just give up" . . . to my surprise he responded, "Daddy, you can never give up". Quite profound for my little guy. I asked him who told him that you never give up, his response, "you and mommy".

The point . . . listen. Listen to what you tell yourself, not to what others tell you can or cannot be accomplished. Do not become passive, and do not view yourself as others wish you to be. Throughout my transformation, I reminded myself on a daily basis of the simple mantra, "I can do this".

As I began to figure out how to limit my daily caloric intake (and feel satisfied), the next step was to increase my daily caloric expenditure. Now, I have tried many many programs in my lifetime, and most of them have worked for me to some degree. However, this was game time. I wasn't getting started to lose a few pounds for an upcoming holiday vacation. No, this time my health and well being were at stake. Looking back, it is now obvious to me that health and well being should always be a primary focus in your life (and I don't solely mean physical health, for me, mental health is far more important).

I continued biking almost daily, gradually increasing my rides to 30-minutes, then 40-minutes. What was I going to do next . . . As you will hear me discuss often in my posts . . . research as well as my own personal experience has shown us that building lean muscle mass will burn more calories than cardio exercise (certainly even more if you do both together). Please do not misunderstand that last statement. I am a strong believer in cardio, particularly considering the fundamental health benefits that accompany it. Lowered cholesterol, improved circulation, etc, etc. I will talk more specifically about how I maximize cardio in another post.

Taking what I had learned from other programs, I knew which muscle groups where the largest, and therefore if "developed" would burn the most calories. Obviously focusing on a wonderfully defined forearm wasn't going to do the trick. There are many large and medium sized muscles which I focused on initially. Here are those areas:

Back - Often overlooked, your back and all of the muscles it is comprised of are a large group.

Legs (I actually almost never do leg specific workouts simply because I ride my bike so often and I run now as well). My focus on legs was and continues to be tied directly to my cardio, kind of double dipping there:)

Chest

Arms - both biceps & triceps

Shoulders - Ahh, my favorite.

Again, I chose these areas based upon their size and ability (if developed properly) to burn calories. I had to build multiple calorie burning engines that would do some of the work for me (they do a lot of it while you sleep by the way).

I began with the clothing rack I mentioned in a previous post - my old friend, the Bowflex Extreme 2. Although it had become the focal point of our dining room (just ask my wife), it was about to see better times. I had purchased this machine initially because I much preferred the smooth resistance it provided as opposed to the clanking of free weights or circuit training machines. It also assists you in maintaining resistance in a bi-directional fashion. I'll explain further; when you lift free weights, it is very easy to say, curl a barbell up. But unless you are very focused, you might let up as you return to the start position. The Bowflex uses "Power Rods", which maintain the tension at all times. Plus, I already owned the darn thing, so I might as well use it.

I began with a plan that would have me working those muscle groups in the following manner:

2-days on, 1 day off (I actually still only lift on this cycle)

Day 1 - Chest/Shoulders

Day 2 - Back, Biceps, Triceps

Day 3 - Cardio and Abdominal work

I started out reasonably . . . I wasn't looking to build bulk (I certainly had plenty of that already), I was looking to lean up. So, lower weight, lots of reps. I would typically do 4-sets of 12 reps for each exercise in my program. In the beginning, I completed 2 separate exercises for each muscle (Example, Chest-I would do a chest press and a chest fly).

On the 3rd day, the day for cardiovascular and abdominals, I used a balance ball (you know those huge balls you see at gyms these days) to work my abs. I had always disliked sit-ups and always had pain from doing them. Balls allow you to really target the abdominals while relieving the strain on your back and neck. Today I use a product called the Bosu Balance Trainer (link on left side of page). I will dedicate a post in the future to this product specifically, but let me tell you, I now love working my abdominals and have continued to see great results. However, I use this product every single day and for many areas other then the abdominals.

A quick re-cap before proceeding . . .

I was now doing cardio (still only on the bike - running hurt way too much at that point), using the Bowflex, 2 days on, one day off and working my abs on the off days.

I have already received a number of messages from readers (thank you all by the way) with requests for more details on how I have accomplished what I have so far. I do plan to give them to you. However, my success has been based upon a number of things.

Eating habits, yes.

Workout program, yes.

Focus/Commitment, BIG YES.

I had to commit mentally and commit in a big way. I was sick, I was overweight, I was eating atrociously, I was not sleeping enough (refer to pre-transformation pictures on the left if you haven't been here before). Although I had been through some extremely unpleasant realizations at the time (Mayo Clinic as an example), I had to convince myself that I could in fact make this lifestyle change. Was it easy? Nope. Does it get easier? Yes.

One last point to make. I have and will continue to describe the specifics (products/nutrition) that have been part of my own transformation, but I am not suggesting that others must follow my "self-prescribed" methods for success. What I have accomplished has been based upon certain fundamentals. They can be applied in a number of ways. I initially used my Bowflex, others may have a gym membership or a set of free weights. Use what you have access to and remember what the profound 4 year old said . . .

"You can never give up"